You're my little dorito
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize