i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
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