it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
