I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
