I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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