It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
