but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
