Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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