dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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