he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize