i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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