Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
