fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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