Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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