He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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