so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
