The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Buhtt sex?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
