i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
