Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
