So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
