is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
