We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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