i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
