is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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