i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
