planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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