I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I think people are normalizing furries
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
