We're facebook friends in real life
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Randomize
