I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
