I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
