it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
