Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
