why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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