quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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