i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
