He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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