Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
