the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
