I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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