I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
