I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You took a bar mat shot.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
