sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
