Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
