No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
