I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
