Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize