I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We need to rekindle our bromance
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize