How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
