I cockslap morals
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
