Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize