Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
