i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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