how can u be prego again
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
