If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
