hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
