ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
