Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
