Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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