turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
